


Auld Lang Syne

by Sasa_Q



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Letters over subspace, M/M, New Years, Post-Canon Cardassia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28447998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasa_Q/pseuds/Sasa_Q
Summary: On Garak's first New Year back on Cardassia Prime, he receives a letter from Dr. Bashir, along with a recommendation of a song.
Relationships: Elim Garak & Kelas Parmak, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	Auld Lang Syne

It came over subspace this morning. A letter. A letter from Dr. Bashir, of all people. I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw his name on my viewing screen. It feels as if it's been years since we've spoken. Although today marks the first Cardassian New Year since I returned to my home world, so I suppose it can't have been too long.

I don't open the message when I see it. Instead, I go to Dr. Parmak. He fixes me a cup of red leaf tea that tastes like dust, and we talk about the state of things for a while.

Then I say, "You won't believe who wrote to me."

He arches a brow ridge. "Oh?" he says, stirring his tea.

"Dr. Bashir," I say. "The chief medical officer from Deep Space Nine."

"Really!" Dr. Parmak says. "What did he have to say?"

"I don't know," I admit. "I haven't opened the message yet."

"Well, you should open it right away," Dr. Parmak advises me. "You haven't spoken with him in months. I should think you would want to talk with him. And you always seem so excited to tell me about him."

I suppose that's true. "What would I have to tell him?" I say. I know full well I have a million different things I could tell him. But they aren't very pleasant things. I know what I can't tell him. I can't tell him about how hard it is to breathe, how I have built walls in my mind where they now lay physically toppled. I can't tell him about the nightmares. "He won't want to hear about how things are here in the city. He'll want to know how I'm doing."

"And you don't want to tell him?" Dr. Parmak asks.

I do want to tell him. More than anything I want to tell him. I have so many things I could say. Some of them are easier to say than others.

Because once I get through the "how are you" and the "Cardassian is healing", I have to start saying things like, I miss you. I wish you were here. Well, not really. I know you wouldn't like it here. But I wish you were here with me. And... I love you, Julian.

"I suppose I should see what he wrote," I say aloud.

"Yes," Dr. Parmak says, understanding as ever. "Have a good New Year."

So I go back to my dwelling and open up my viewing screen. The message sits there, unopened, so tantalizing. I take a breath, and open it.

'Hello, Garak.'

Just those two words make me feel things. I miss him saying those words to me so much. I can almost hear his voice saying them. 

'I'm sorry for not writing. I've meant to write to you, but somehow I was always worried that I would be bothering you. So when I saw that it was about to be the Cardassian New Year, I figured it was a good opportunity to send you a letter. I know you'd prefer if I wrote in pen and paper, but some of us aren't as old-fashioned as you.'

I smile at the screen, and remember all the paper-and-ink letters he wrote me while I was in prison. I still have those letters.

'I've seen the reports. I've been trying to keep up with things on Cardassia. I know things are difficult right now, and that this New Year won't be much of a celebration. (That is, if it's ever really a happy occasion for you. I don't know how holidays work on your home world.)

I wanted to tell you to look up something. It's a song we sing on Earth at the New Year, a song we've been singing for centuries now. It's called "Auld Lang Syne". I won't bore you with the details about the original poem the song was based on or anything like that. I just wanted to tell you to look it up on your database. It reminded me of you, when I learned that today was the Cardassian New Year.

I just wanted to tell you that I've been thinking about you. A lot, actually. I miss you. A lot. I can't help but remember our days together on Deep Space Nine and think about how those were simpler times. It's kind of funny. Times could be difficult on DS9, but somehow, things worked out better, because we always had each other.

Wow. I guess I really am getting sentimental. I know you don't let it when I get like that, so I apologize.

Anyway... I hope you're doing alright. As 'alright' as you possibly can be, in your situation. I hope that sometimes, you think of me, too.

-Julian'

I stare at the viewing screen for a few moments, just taking it all in. Dr. Bashir misses you, my brain is singing. He's thinking about you. You're not crazy; you're not the only one who's remembering the old days.

I decide to look up this song he mentioned, this "Auld Lang Syne". It doesn't seem like the title is in Federation Standard, at least not the Federation Standard people use today. I hope it's in my database. I have a fairly advanced one. As I hoped, there it is: the song, there on the screen.

"Computer," I say, "play 'Auld Lang Syne'."

I sit there and listen, my fingers tented. I tap them together in rhythm to the music.

When the song ends, I immediately begin writing in response, the words coming to me as I write.

'My dear Dr. Bashir,

It's a pleasure to hear from you. I must confess to being quite excited when I saw that I had received a message from you.

I know you're probably wondering about how things are on Cardassia Prime. Well, you've read the reports. You know that things are still very much broken here. But you're probably wondering what first-hand details I can give you. And the truth is... it's hard to live in rubble. Harder than I hope you will ever know. Everything is covered in dust, to the point where I can taste it in my food and drink. And when I look out at the horizon, I sometimes wish I hadn't.

It seems impossible that things can improve. The world seems entirely at a loss to the question "When?". It seems that every passing day brings dissonance and sorrow. When we think of the days of old, we cannot help but think we will never return to the heights at which we towered. And that begs the question: were we meant to stay at such heights? Was it only inevitable that we would topple to the ground?

But I believe it is my personal duty to believe that we have not reached the end. That there is still hope left in this universe, enough for me, enough for my people, enough for my whole world.

That brings me to this song you recommended to me. I think this is indeed a fitting song to have sent me on this, the Cardassian New Year. I found it quite sentimental, but I can forgive that flaw. Because of its sentimentality, I at first had a hard time relating it to my current experience, but once I got past that fact, I found it quite reminiscent of the situation in which I live.

I believe the song speaks of times of old, and how one remembers them. Should it all be forgotten? Is it better forgotten? These are questions we must ponder. Ones I ponder often as I sit among the rubble.

And I believe this song speaks of a friendship, one very dear, one shared over many years. One that is valued greatly. One that cannot be let go.

For the sake of this friendship we have held together, I thank you for writing to me today. I didn't know how much I needed your words. I hope that we can keep writing to each other. After all, I have many things to tell you.

Yours,

-Elim Garak'.

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne

We'll take a cup of kindness yet

For auld lang syne.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this has a bit of 2020 feelings in it. I couldn't help it, okay?  
> I hope you enjoyed! I would love if you commented. :)


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